A couple of weeks ago Barack Obama touched on the source of so-called Black anger and now it seems some Black folk are getting a little too angry at any and everyone but the right people. The latest victims of some of this anger are the collective forces at Vogue Magazine. Last week they announced that future NBA Hall-of-Fame player Lebron James would be featured on the cover of their April “Shape Issue.” The photo is of a tattoo clad James in basketball shorts, holding a basketball in one hand and supermodel Gisele Bundchen in the other.

While the fashion connoisseurs at Vogue have been patting themselves on the back for finally putting a Black man on the cover (Lebron is the first such Black man), others are crying foul; and Lebron of course, is simply happy to be making another dollar without having to shoot behind the arc.

Critics of the cover say that it perpetuates the lethal image of Black men in America. You know the one: the angry Black man out to rape and pillage the white woman. Although that image has destroyed many a Black life, I just don’t see how this photo can even be brought up in the same breath as those other atrocities.

Sure, (if someone points it out to you) there is no doubt that the photo is reminiscent of “King Kong” and Fay Wray- that classic tale of another big black beast terrorizing a frail white chick (Vogue denies any “King Kong” connection).

It’s the kind of stuff relatively unknown Black college professors salivate about. By now, I’m sure plenty of them have been getting phone calls from their local papers asking them to comment.

Their verdict: the photo reinforces the idea of the angry Black male athlete.

Undoubtedly, this image is only a portion of the larger and more deadly stereotype that has plagued the Black male in America for centuries.

And I, of course, don’t refute the implications of that image and the prevalence of it. However, I dare to say (gasp) this is not the case.

Honestly, when I look at this picture all I see is a great basketball player doing what he does every night he gets on the court, minus the skinny white girl. I see intensity, two ugly outfits, and an awkwardly posed super model. Have you ever seen King James dunk on an opponent? He looks worse than he does in that photo by the time he lands back on the hardwood floor.

Now, I do agree that Vogue should have published a better photo. The cover doesn’t do justice to James or Gisele’s so-called perfect bodies. I would have rather seem them both (especially James) half-naked so we could actually see those bodies. In fact, that would have conjured up some justifiable hoopla about race. Race and sex is always controversial, but the Vogue cover is not even provocative. Quite frankly it is boring; which makes me wonder if this “controversy” was cooked up in order to bring attention to this month’s issue in the first place.

I’m sure you could argue that Vogue should have known better. But I say there are plenty of more worthy and ridiculous images of Black people being published for white folk to see, and for us to get pissed about. Essentially, this controversy boils down to how we can act a fool amongst ourselves, but not in front of them.

Off hand, I can think of three other images affecting the Black community that deserve more hoot and holler:

1. BET
2. VH1
3. A Tyler Perry production

The first two have been thrashed plenty of times here at the Spin; and I’ve been waiting all week to give TP a piece of my mind after I spent $11 last weekend to see yet another one of his films about a poor Black woman needing a man, usually from the light-skinned crew, to save her.

Naively, I was hoping that Perry would do the old bait and switch this time around. Now that he’s got so many people sucking on his glorified teet, I’ve been hoping that he would get us all in the movie theater and show us a more intelligent depiction of Black life. I’ve been waiting for him to appear on screen and say- “expecting niggas? Well, not this time.” But of course it was another typical Tyler Perry film. As one Fox Sports commentator stated, it was, “a romantic comedy built around a single mama with three baby daddies, her loud-mouthed, weed-smoking, gun-toting Latino best girlfriend, a deadbeat daddy, a drunk sister and a deceased father who was a pimp-turned-preacher.” And, we ate it up- shelling out $20 million last weekend just to get a taste of it.

So forgive me if I look at the April cover of Vogue magazine and refuse to give a damn. Add the rising number of Black women with AIDS, the amount of Black and Brown faces locked up behind bars, Souljah Boy telling the kids to “throw some D’s on their report card,” to the short list above, and I think there are plenty of more important things Black folk, and everybody else, need to be angry about.

What is with the sadistic need to hate? I ask myself this question in the hopes that maybe I might have an epiphany. Maybe a revelation into the inner workings of the human psyche, an answer to the aforementioned question.

Why hate?

A philosopher or psychologist may give you some ridiculous rhetoric siting the human need for competition or homo sapien genealogical make-up, but this is all high-degree laden hogwash and learned man’s bull-shit. The truth of the matter is that people hate as easily as they live and though there is a scientific answer for the actual processing of oxygen, the question of life and my own personal question of hate have no direct answers. It just is…it just happens.

People hate what they know and what they don’t know, what they see and what they do not see. There is no true rhyme or reason to the hate in general other then how the targets of that hate are chosen. Whether its jealousy or self-loathing, a superiority complex or even a weak stab at humor, hate rears its ugly brow in all sources of conversation.

Since there is a fine line between critique and hate, there may be instances that I deem to be hateful but were actually for the betterment for “he who hath been hated on.” This confusion of hateful purpose is not to say that the negative mudslinging had not occurred but rather the outcome of it was a positive one.

So that begs me to ask: Is it only considered hate if the one being hated on is offended?

Given that the vast majority of hate is delivered when the target is not within earshot I would have to say “hell naw.” We hate on absolutely EVERYTHING, persons, places and things. Even shit that doesn’t really exist gets fired at. Hell this entire blog is hating on hating…lol.

I guess this is something we may never get to the bottom of. No answer seems to suffice or sate my need to find out why humans hate. Heck I would like to know what Jesus hated on, get me a lil rubber bracelet with the letters W.W.J.H. and start a new trend.

People basically hate because they are sheep in people’s clothing…they do it…(ahem) we do it because we don’t know any better.

What do you hate?

The H8ed

**This has been a satirical public announcement for the betterment of all man kind**

Since it’s April fools day and I just read a very disturbing article on CNN in which the FBI brags about wire tapping MLK for no good reason, I thought it appropriate to share a friend of mine’s viewpoint on the current political and social climate. Don’t fret, my pets, I’ll be back next week. In the meantime ponder the following eloquent rant by my boy R. Scott:

Mad as Hell

America, I’m calling you out. Calling you out for your hypocrisy. Calling you out for your apathy. Calling you out for abandoning your civic duty in the face of adversity for the safe but vulnerable position of complacency. Five years ago, the United States, in the aftermath of the tragedies of September 11th (tragic not only in the sense of the carnage, but the possibility that these events were orchestrated on a level none of us will ever know) began our campaign on the “War on Terror.” Blinded by rage and nationalism, we adhered to our regime’s call for a unified front to stamp out terrorism and those who would challenge our most sacred ideology of freedom.

But woe to our collective naivete. Blinded by the empty but riveting words of our “chosen” leaders, we were led to believe that the archetype of our enemy fit the predisposition of some third-world religious fundamentalist bent on the verge of destroying our very way of life. As time prevailed and our understanding became open and aware to the possibilities of our nation’s infrastructural compromising, we came to realize that this fear was being generated, manufactured, and distributed to manipulate our sense of patriotism.

Yet we continue to exist as everything is fine. Hunky-dory. A-okay. Sedated by our fleeting position in the scope of the national community, we thrive and continue with our optimism (because anything else would be “un-American,” of course). But it is this comfort and dedication to causes that we intrinsically know to be wrong which upsets me.

How far must our imperialist policies and political agendas traverse in our name before we become upset at our misrepresentation?

How far must social injustices carried out in the name of “national security” go before we say, “Enough!”

How far must our civil liberties be compromised and altered to the point of obscurity before we mandate a change in national policy to overthrow a political structure that is out-of-touch with our nation’s current ideals?

Which brings me to this recent, common cliché: get angry.

Our forefathers got angry and formed this imperfect yet ideal nation in which future generations would be able to prosper freely in the direction that deemed fit (Black people and other minorities, vibe with me on this overall point for sake of discussion). Despite our institutional imperfections, the framework was laid for a nation “to establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, and promote the general welfare.” America has had a series of events which would compromise the foundations laid in our sacred Preamble, but the beauty of this country is that we have and are capable of altering current situations to ultimately benefit our national creed: “one nation,…indivisible with liberty and justice for all.” Sometimes friction is necessary. No one ever said the road would be easy (“hallelu…”), but often the first step is the most important.

So I implore you, Nation, use your naturally endowed rights as citizens to bring voice to that creeping dissonance in your subconscious to be that change you wish to see, and fulfill your civic duty to ensure that this nation will continue to prevail in the progressive direction we were destined to be. Or not…the choice is yours…literally.

R. Scott is a Los Angeles-based writer.

I have been a firm believer that the mass media industry has the ability to control our minds. Not in the twilight zone sense of mind control, but in a more subtle way. There is this theory known as the “Agenda Setting Theory.” The core of the theory is this:

Agenda-setting is the creation of public awareness and concern of salient issues by the news media. Two basic assumptions underlie most research on agenda-setting:

(1) the press and the media do not reflect reality; they filter and shape it;

(2) media concentration on a few issues and subjects leads the public to perceive those issues as more important than other issues.

One of the most critical aspects in the concept of an agenda-setting role of mass communication is the time frame for this phenomenon. In addition, different media have different agenda-setting potential. The Agenda-setting Theory seems quite appropriate to help us understand the pervasive role of the media (for example, on political communication systems).

Bernard Cohen (1963) stated: “The press may not be successful much of the time in telling people what to think, but it is stunningly successful in telling its readers what to think about.”

http://www.tcw.utwente.nl/theorieenoverzicht/Theory%20clusters/Mass%20Media/Agenda-Setting_Theory.doc/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agenda-setting_theory

It is kind of funny how I always think I’m not going to have anything to write about, and then I pick up my phone and realize I had a story all along! I know I haven’t spoken about getting down and dirty in quite some time, and I promise I will do that…next week, but again I need to get something off of my chest!

You know what, scratch that! I just had a realization that Neece’s Pieces is turning into a gossip column. So no more venting…I promise (well…’promise to try my hardest’ promise).

Let’s talk about sex!

So, I know I brought up the whole masturbation issue way back when, and how it definitely wasn’t my cup of tea. Honestly, I still haven’t mastered the art of self pleasure. Seriously, it is a lot harder than I thought. I feel sorry for my man because it takes forever for me to reach the big O (Lucky for him though, I aim to please!).

Anyhow, in my previous blog I think I mentioned how I needed to hook myself up with a “friend” to help me with the art of self pleasure. Well, is it sad to say, that I use it way more than needed?

Here is the worst part…I no longer hook myself up for the mere fact of getting off, I do it because it is the best stress reliever EVER!

I swear, if I am having the shittiest day, or I’m stressing over work, school, life, or my man, I turn it on, hook myself up, and go on stress free!

Example A: Being the lagger that I am, I had twenty pages to write for three different classes which I started the day they were due. I was so stressed out that I couldn’t see straight. But, I finished every last page, and once I submitted my final paper, I came home, pulled out my little blue friend and hooked myself up just so I could have a good night’s rest and not be stressed out anymore.

Example B: I have a thing with stressing over my financials, probably on a daily basis, or at least on an every other day basis. I realized a few weeks back, that in order to do what I want to do with my life, I need to make more money, spend less money, and get another job (all while keeping the one I have now and going to school full time). Thinking about my financials always drains me and puts me in a sour ass mood. Until…I come home, pull out my little blue friend and hook myself up. Then I just say fuck it and go and have a peaceful night’s rest.

Maybe my problem is I don’t do drugs. I’m sure if I smoked weed everyday I wouldn’t be worried about stressing either. I say my way is better, because I’m not losing brain cells, and…it is a healthier choice. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an avid believer in legalizing marijuana, but my choice won’t make you gain weight with any side effects, such as cotton mouth or the munchies! In fact, it’ll do the opposite, why not lose a few calories why you de-stress?

Now, you may laugh, but I dare you to try it! It won’t work if you’re super horny, and you’re just trying to um…not go out with a loaded gun!

And, not that I’m wishing a shitty ass day on any of you, but seriously, I hope you have one soon, just so you can try my foul proof method of de-stressing yourself!

I used to laugh, because my bff told me how she always knew one of her girls was having a shitty day if her vibrator and dildo were out. It just didn’t make sense how fucking yourself would make anything better. After all, you’re alone, and you’re the one putting in the effort!

And, because I knocked it before I tried it, I am now forced to eat my own words! Seriously, the best part is that you are alone. You don’t have to worry about pleasing anybody else other than yourself.

My girls are going to laugh at me, because come birthday time, they’re all getting vibrators!

So, enough about that, I’m going out this weekend for a friend’s birthday party. I’m sure there will be a lot to discuss next week. The people I associate with up here should have a soap opera written about them!

And to answer the question from last week, this is a sticky situation for me. I’m all for letting my man do what the hell he pleases, but I know he wouldn’t say the same for me. But here is my thinking…nothing in the world is going to stop your man or your woman from cheating on you. No boundary, no nothing!

If your game with your man or woman is up to par, there shouldn’t be any reason to put up a barrier. Because to me, barriers are meant to be knocked down.

And as my good friend Amber Cooter likes to say, if you’re not doing it for your man, there are plenty of other bitches out there that will (And that goes for the men too).

Until next week (because I love the trust game), if a man, who is in a committed relationship, is hanging out with a female, who knows he is in the relationship, on some rated g (maybe a little pg) shit, is it okay for him not to say anything to his wifey? And, to add a twist to it, if the other female is dating somebody who he considers to be one of his boys, should he inform him too?

Things have changed as you get older, or as the the world gets older…or younger. I guess it really depends on how you look at it. As the world controllers have gotten younger (the world controllers being the consumers that control the market) so has the over all attention span. Video Games, Clothes, Cars, MP3 players, Cell Phones etc…”gotta get it” vs. “the gotta get it now”!

What floats your boat today? Was it different then it was last week? Last month…last year?

Has this phase of quick pleasure transferred itself to all phases of your life? Are you looking for the next best burger now or the next best universal remote? Life has been dominated by the next and the next next and it has moved so quickly that we hadn’t even noticed it materialize. I’m trying to figure out what happened last week as my 6 year old is at the computer with complete and utter control of the Internet. Effortlessly moving from site to site dominating his mouse like I did G.I. Joes at that same young age.

There is no wait anymore. Everything is younger, bigger, badder, faster, stronger, and all before its predecessor has even begun to develop grays. Its the competition, its the Joneses, and now in 2008, it is the way of life. Scary as it may sound this new wave of change has leaned its ever changing brow into politics, sports and any other form of public forum. This movement of alteration and impatience has created upon itself an empowerment of youth.

This youth empowerment, this change in the air, this movement of the ever changing present is healing, is rebuilding and is now. From where I’m standing looking up into the wind smelling the fragrance of new (which oddly enough is usually only found in new cars), only one phrase and title comes to mind for this new phase of living.

This is GLOBAL HIP HOP!!!!

What do you think?

H8 you later!

Aaron McGruder is a wonderful man. Aside from him being of the curly light-skinned variety, he is exceptionally smart, has a wit that can be appreciated on several different levels, and he is cute as all get out. He is the mind and pen behind The Boondocks comic strip and was also responsible for one of my favorite comic novels, Birth of a Nation. He was even the guest speaker at an event my father organized for up and coming urban business owners.

Of these, however, none are the reason why I absolutely love this man.

Behold:
THE EPISODE

This episode of “The Boondocks” is what I have been trying to preach to mofos for the past three years. This episode is what proves that I’m not a skeptic cynic out with a bloodlust for blaxploitation. This, kiddies, is the banned-from-television episode entitled “Hunger Strike” that blows the lid off of the evil organization that is BET.

He gave Al Sharpton a kick in the groin for good measure, too. Rollo Goodlove. Humph. I know he’s just a character, but I wish the Permanator would change up his hair as much as Rollo does. At least I’d be able to comment on his fresh new ‘do while not listening to a damn thing he says.

When you watch this marvel, make sure you catch the subtleties in the one-liners and side comments sprinkled ever so gingerly throughout the episode. In fact, watch it twice and send it to everyone you know with a child aged 16 and under.

God bless you Aaron McGruder, and may sweet minty Jesus rain down chocolate covered peppermint patties on you for proving me right. BET is out to destroy black people one ignorant ass show at a time and I hope no one has to go on a hunger strike to stop them.

Y’all continue to enjoy the Spin and the rest of your day. I gotta reach some of these kids. If anyone wants to join me, I’ll be outside the front gate at Audubon Jr. High School screaming “F**k BET, read a book!”

Oh, and for the dedicated, here’s another anti-BET banned episode. WHAM!

As Obama and Hilary continue slug it out here at home, John McCain quietly gets a jump on the competition with his tour of the middle East and Europe, obviously to bolster his foreign affairs appeal. True enough, he totally stuck his foot in his mouth while in Jordan…

…but I think his mistake is more a sign of Mid-Eastern scapegoat manipulation than foreign policy ignorance. When I watch this news clip this is what I hear.

It’s common knowledge that Iran is next on our hit list and I’m sure we’ll figure out a way to link them to Al-Qaeda, I mean extremist, same difference.

Anyway, I scanned the headlines and all the hype surrounds the Detroit Mayor, Hilary’s dirt and Obama’s dirt. I think Democratic supporters need to be concerned. The Dems are divided and out for their own blood, while the GOP waxes it’s candidate for that white-male shine!

Check these headlines:

McCain meeting British, French leaders

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/03/20/oakley.mccain.london/index.html#cnnSTCText

McCain’s Holy Land Pilgrimage

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1723759,00.html?xid=feed-cnn-topics

McCain arrives in Baghdad with fellow senators

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/03/16/mccain.iraq/index.html#cnnSTCText

I’m not saying the Dems aren’t still favored, but I am saying that the election is bigger than the primaries and the GOP is getting a head start on the general election.

Yesterday Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was charged with 8 felony counts, including perjury, misconduct in office, and obstruction of justice. At 37 years old, Kilpatrick is the 3rd youngest Mayor currently in office in the U.S. and the youngest mayor in the history of the city. Oh yeah, and he’s trifling as hell too.

That might seem harsh, but as someone with the majority of her relatives still residing in the city and vicinity of Detroit (shout out to my Grandma), I’ve taken a particular interest in this whole Kilpatrick scandal and am ready to see it come to an end.

Here’s a little background info on Kwame:

Kilpatrick allegedly used about $9 million of city money to settle a law suit against whistle-blowing former police officers out of court so that their lawyer wouldn’t reveal text messages that showed Kilpatrick was having an affair with his Chief of Staff, Christine Beatty. Kilpatrick and Beatty testified in that trial that they never had a sexual relationship (thus the perjury charge). To make matters worse, the trial itself focused on police officers who claimed to be unfairly punished for investigating the Mayor’s activities, including an alleged wild stripper party at his mayoral mansion in 2002. One of the strippers rumored to have danced at the party was shot and killed the following year (the party itself and a cover-up scandal have never been proven). Kilpatrick has also been in hot water in the past over city money he allegedly used to lease cars for his family and pay for expensive spa retreats and Moet, among other luxury treats.

So now that we’ve got the background info settled, I’ve got a few tips to help anyone out there who might be pondering a step into the public eye, but knows that they’ve got some shady habits that they want to keep hidden:

1. Do NOT text corny pillow talk messages to your mistress, especially when using the company pager (yes, they still used pagers). These and other incriminating texts appeared in the Detroit Free Pres for all of the world to see.

4/8/2003, 8:55 p.m.

Beatty: And, did you miss me, sexually?

Kilpatrick: Hell yeah! You couldn’t tell. I want some more. Don’t sleep!

5/5/2003, midnight

Kilpatrick: That’s the first time that I couldn’t fully seduce you. My game is off. LOL! Thanx for the conversation and the QT! Love you!

Beatty: LOL! Your game is way on baby! “you had me at hello!” Jerry McGuire 2000. LOL. I just didn’t want to get caught.

As you can see from the amount of exclamation points in play, Kwame’s simp game is quite sad….it makes me think these two cornballs needed to get caught.

2. Do NOT use the race card to try to excuse your trifling behavior. Kwame has blamed everyone from the media to white America as a whole for his troubles. Taking a cue from Clay Davis on the Wire, Kwame hopes an emotional appeal to Blacks on the grounds that he’s being unfairly targeted will win him favor with the jury. He even dropped the N-word on the local news during his State of the City address [his audience gasped as if they’d never heard the word before]:

3. DO resign before a hostile takeover ensues. If you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar the best thing to do is to walk away from your political office. Hell, run away if you can do so and avoid jail time. Numerous politicians, Detroiters and journalists have called for Kwame to step down, but Kwame ain’t havin it. Last week the Detroit City Council demanded that he resign and Kwame dismissed the council vote as non-binding. Local residents have also tried to petition for a recall of his position. Clearly, Kwame wants a fight to the finish. He should take a cue from Spitzer and leave quietly before they ride him out of town on a rail.

4. Do NOT, I repeat do NOT position yourself as the “young people’s” politician and make a fool of yourself. I wish there was a way to not position yourself as the “Black” politician either, but as we’ve learned from the Presidential nomination race, race will always creep up into the picture. In the beginning, Kwame played up his “hip hop mayor” image with big earrings (he took them out after while), and he was credited with bringing youth into politics. Now that his actions are under scrutiny, the usual suspects will view Kilpatricks’ shortcomings as representative of the hip hop generation, and voters will be wary of electing a young, bright-minded leader in the future.

So in short, don’t be dumb if you’re going to run for office and do dirt on the side. Wear a condom, only speak in person, take responsibility if you get caught, and try not to take any subculture down with you.

I’m baaaaaaack! Yes, I’m sure you missed me, and I must admit…I missed you too! I have been super busy, and have had to deal with some new technology before I could start blogging again (actually, I left the sidekick nation and I’m still trying to figure out my new blackberry).

Anyways, let me fill you in on my fun-filled month (and some days)!

First off, Vegas was crazy fun! Although it was the one of the most PG trips I’ve ever been on, I must say, we had a good time. I was reunited with my girls, had a spa day, experienced VIP status in some of the hottest clubs, and even managed to make yacking in a water bottle walking through the Wynn look classy!

Oh yes, Vegas was fun! The rest of the weeks in between Vegas and the wedding were a blur to me. School, work, boyfriend, life (and not in that particular order either). I finally got hit on by a female while out with my girl and her girlfriend. And, I’ve watched some great movies in my Porn Studies class and some pretty boring ones as well.

Ones I recommend are Eon McKai’s New Wave Hookers, which was totally dirty, yet made me laugh big time. Something has to be said about watching hardcore porn in a classroom full of people. Also, Female Troubles was just a funny movie. It wasn’t actually pornographic by any means, but for it’s time, it was considered to be. Divine, the Drag Queen from the original Hairspray movie, starred in it.

So, wedding time finally comes about! I’ll keep it short since it has already been touched on…it was beautiful, made me cry, the bridesmaids were freaking hot, and of course so were the bride and groom!

And then, it was over. Life was back to normal. Well, as normal as can be.

So, now that I’m back, let’s get down to business. I have some serious shit to discuss with all of you. Which, has been plaguing me for some time now. The topic is realness! Can I just get an Amen once for this?

Let me explain why this is an issue for me. There was a situation, in which I was trying to get my girl some booty (being the good friend that I am), and it seemed that dude was feeling her. But, then, things didn’t work out as planned (well, as I had planned) and they didn’t end up hooking up.

There is no problem, right?

Wrong.

Enter, good old Myspace. So, I’ll admit time and time again, that I have a stalker problem. And normally, my stalker ways prove to be for a good reason. So, what did I find this time? My potential booty mate for my girl seemed to have a girl of his own. Talking about “I’m glad your baby is in my belly,” and “I love you.”

Granted, there may not be any rings on their fingers, but, seriously, can we not just keep it real? Like, “yeah, Neece. I’m diggin your girl and all, but I have my lady at home waiting for me.”

I mean, you don’t have to go and put it on blast with my girl or anything. But, let me decide whether or not to pimp her out to a potential sleaze bag. Give me that option. Don’t make me find out after the fact!

Ok, next example. What exactly does dating mean? When you say you’re dating somebody, does that mean you are allowed to hump other people? What about the person who you ARE actually dating?

So, I have this friend, who will remain anonymous due to client-patient confidentiality (and…he’d beat me if I busted him out) that is “dating” somebody. So, the girl he is dating thinks they are just dating each other [exclusively], but of course he isn’t. I honestly don’t know why I have a problem with this, other than I feel like…well…he isn’t keeping it real with her. And, as his friend, I feel the need to point that out!

Honestly though, I’m not really fond of the female, so I shouldn’t give a shit. But, because I feel my boy isn’t keeping it real, I must stick up for the beezy.

Maybe I’m wrong with my second example. But this issue of the lack of realness in the world is driving me insane.

Oh well…

Until next week, is it ever okay to put boundaries on your mate when it comes to their friends or the normal activities they’re involved with?